Let Them Eat Pancakes

selling a sandwich empire, breakfast is for the elite, and outlawing dog cops

GOOOOOOD MORNIN’ BROILER ROOOOOOOOM

There’s lots of news in the food world lately, most of it stupid, but let’s get caught up: 

• Subway’s CEO announced that the 60-year-old chain is looking for a buyer and the sale is expected to have a nearly $10 billion price tag attached. Considering the last decade or so of bad press that they’ve had, it’s surprising they could still be valued so highly. Subway’s woes have been well documented since it topped the mountain as the most successful fast food chain, with the most locations, in 2002. They were involved in a class action lawsuit for dishonest advertising about the size of their subs, which forced them to settle out of court and discontinue their wildly successful “$5 Footlong” marketing campaign. Then Subway spokesperson of 15 years Jared Fogle, an absolute monster, was incarcerated for his horrific crimes which the company is alleged to have some previous knowledge of. Then there was the public outcry when it was discovered that Subway was using azodicarbonamide in their bread, a material also found in yoga mats. In Subway’s defense, McDonald’s, Jack in the Box, Chik-Fil-A, and Wendy’s all used this in their bread but everyone stopped after Subway was dragged for it. And most recently Subway was in court defending it’s “100% Tuna” claim when, according to a suit, 19 samples of their “tuna” taken from 20 different locations contained “no detectable tuna DNA sequences whatsoever”. Strange but unsurprising behavior from a brand that convinced customers that eating a loaf of bread was healthy. So if you’re a sandwich enthusiast and have $10 billion laying around, call J.P. Morgan.

tough to tell if this was real or fake given Subway’s track record

• Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, unless you’re broke then you should probably just skip it and get your ass to work according to some very out of touch people. In this borderline recession climate, The Wall Street Journal decided to really go for it with the dumbest goddamn thing I’ve read in awhile.

This is asinine. Please don’t skip breakfast. And I say this as someone that skipped breakfast for years. It really is crucial and sets you up to be your best self every day. Aside from that, there’s evidence that shows people who eat breakfast tend to eat healthier, more fiber and nutrient dense meals in general. And people who skip breakfast are (ironically) at higher risk for diabetes and heart disease. While it might be just correlation, not causation, I know for me the days I start hungry are the hardest days. And if any of y’all need some breakfast recipes that’ll never call for any expensive eggs, we’ve got this lil website you might’ve heard about. Might I suggest the Earl Grey French Toast? 😙🤌

• And finally in about goddamn time news, California has proposed legislation to ban the use of K-9 units for crowd control and apprehending suspects. Assemblymember Corey Jackson introduced the bill, pointing out the long history of police violence using K-9s against black people and communities of color. Police would still be allowed to use K-9s for search and rescue, drug searches, and explosive detection. As you can imagine, law enforcement and their unions are defending the use of K-9s as one of the few tools they have for non-lethal force. Which weirdly sounds a lot like “if we can use dogs we’re just gonna shoot more”.

you’ve burgled your last burger

Speaking of french toast, tomorrow we’ve got a Blueberry French Toast Casserole for our subscribers to the Sunday recipe club. Not a member? You must be starving. Sign up today and we’ll get you a plate.

Until next week, keep those knives sharp.

Matt and Michelle