Monkey Business

soup pockets, baguette bulwark and bad billionaires

Welcome back to 🔥THE BROILER ROOM🔥 where this week we’re exploring some holly jolly recipes and the folly of infinite wealth. Speaking of recipes, tomorrow is the last day we’re offering 20% annual subscriptions to our recipe club which means you get three months of recipes for free just for taking advantage of this deal. Join the club and cook with us.

If you’re new around here we have tons of great fall and winter recipes stored over on our site like our Vegetable Potpies or Tomato and White Bean Soup. If you’re out holiday shopping (hint hint) but strapped for cash, some of our Candy Cane Winter Bark or a batch of our Hot Chocolate Mix make great gifts. Especially if you’re doing Secret Santa but don’t know shit about the person you picked. EVERYBODY LOVES FOOD. 🎅🤌

LET’S CHEW SOME NEWS:

• King Charles, who recently inherited a $750 million dollar estate, donated some fridges to various food banks across the UK. Because, ya know, getting to the root of why food banks are necessary is difficult and he’s busy being rich. 

• The French Baguette received UN Cultural Protections. You might be wondering “I didn’t know the baguette needed protecting?” well we fucking didn’t either. UNESCO was founded in 1945 to promote peace and protect education in arts, science, and culture. So UNESCO cements cultural staples with everything from ancient ruins, to towns, and yes even food. Belgian beer, Neapolitan pizza, Arabic coffee, and now the French baguette. 

  This actually kicks all kinds of ass because this megastore E. Leclerc (think Target) started selling baguettes ($.29 cents) at a fraction of the cost of traditional bakers ($.90 cents) per baguette. France has 33,000 bakeries with about 400 closing each year, so mass production and affordability come with unintended consequences. Especially considering the French eat 10 billion baguettes every year. The UNESCO award helps protect french bakeries as well as traditional baguette production. 

• Y’all might notice a significant price hike on eggs and chicken at the grocery store because there's an avian flu that’s killed +50 million birds this year, the worst animal disaster ever in the US. This is of course in addition to the 8 billion chickens Americans eat every year. Officials say there is no risk of transfer to humans but hey- maybe use this as a chance to eat less chicken and eggs? We know a website with lots of amazing recipes. 

• Yet another company owned by Elon Musk, Neuralink, is under federal investigation, this time by the USDA Inspector General. The probe, which has been going on for some months, is into violations of the Animal Welfare Act by the brain-chip startup. Neuralink’s own staff raised concerns of over 1,500 animals, like monkeys and pigs, that have been killed for the project.

  It’s impossible to talk about this rich man’s desire to implant computer chips in our skulls without sounding like a crazy uncle, yet here the fuck we are. We’re all for scientific progress but this is beyond negligent, it’s immoral. At least science finally has monkeys playing Pong or whatever.

  

  via CNN

• And probably this week’s most important news, Hot Pockets is finally launching their own cargo shorts with, you guessed it, a hot pocket. Perfect for keeping loose soup warm while on the go or a handful of tater tots. We’ll wait for the Kirkland knock-offs bc Nestle can absolutely get fucked. 

Tomorrow our paid supporters are getting a recipe for Meyer Lemon Crinkle Cookies AKA Yellow Snowballs if you’re an 8 year old. 

Not a supporter yet? Easy way to change that and get fresh recipes delivered to your inbox every Sunday. 

Matt and Michelle