Reality Bites

buy the ticket, taste the ride

As a regular late-night customer of Del Taco, which has become increasingly vegan friendly, I noticed a new addition to the menu a few nights ago. A red, white and blue boba drink dubbed The Independence Popper. I was struck with the absurdity before eventually tackin’ it onto my usual double order of 8 layer veggie burritos. Sans cheese and sour cream, obvs.

Driving home and sucking down sugary boba, I thought about novelty foods. From everything that was sold to me as a young impressionable kid and as a grown man still curious to try whatever new nonsense they’re peddling. Was any of this an attempt to innovate or just a bottomless pit of marketing gimmicks?

Behold, Pizza Hut’s Hot Dog Crust. Did your chest just tighten a lil?

Novelty foods have become a hallmark of our times. Snapshots of culinary chaos catering to our insatiable desire to taste the next big thing. As consumers we regularly find ourselves bombarded by cronuts, sushi burritos, and unicorn colored everything.

We all remember Taco Bell’s infamous Doritos Locos Tacos that sold so well it not only became a regular menu item but they had to hire an additional 15,000 employees to support demand. Starbucks is currently selling olive oil coffee and everyone is literally shitting themselves over it. The next evolution of the buttered coffee phase everyone went through a few years ago. For all their wackiness, novelty foods have their place.

just learned my favorite childhood cereal was made by Purina, lol what?!

Novelty foods provide exactly that- ✨NOVELTY✨. A chance to step out of our comfort zones and try something different. A tiny edible adventure that even if it sucks, you can say you tried. No matter how annoying or stupid they seem, novelty foods inject a much-needed dose of excitement into our mundane routines. Even if you hate a particular product (burn in hell whatever sonuvabitch invented KFC’s Double Down) it still makes you feel something. Like the joy of assembling a fucked up looking gingerbread house over the holidays or making ‘witch fingers’ during Halloween. Novelty foods for better or worse aren’t going anywhere, especially in the age of endless content streams and influencers. Hell, half of Tik Tok's algorithm is just edible absurdities. 

I don’t care what the packaging said, that was not a bubble gum nose. Mario had a goddamn jawbreaker on his face.

Novelty foods challenge the boundaries of what we consider to be “normal”. Nobody is really reinventing the wheel as much as just seasoning the wheel a lil’ differently. We’ve done this too, like the Spaghetti Pie from our third cookbook, Fast as Fuck, or our upcoming book’s recipe for Falafel Waffles. 

I KNOW. I KNOW. It sounds ridiculous, it even rhymes. Waffles are sweet but this is savory, who the hell do we think we are. I GET it. But if you open your mind and mouth to new experiences, you might just enjoy yourself. And these waffles aren’t just culinary oddities meant to market our book, they’re an easy way to enjoy falafel without having to deep fry anything. You don’t need pita, you don’t need anything but your waffle maker and a hungry heart. These might look like a novelty at first, but our falafel waffles are all substance. No fillers. 

y’all are gonna love these

So the next time you see an unusual menu item or someone offers you to taste something different, dig in and enjoy the ride. But I wouldn’t recommend The Independence Popper- too damn sweet. 

The recipe for Falafel Waffles is available in our upcoming cookbook Hungry As Hell. Preorder now and prepare your tastebuds for a flavor field trip.

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Thanks for joining us in The Broiler Room. Tomorrow our Sunday subscribers will get a recipe for Fresh Mango Tres Leches.

Until next week, keep your oven warm and sink empty.