Salad Anarchy
the final salad boot camp with just a pinch of conspiracy
Congratulations on making it to the finale of our Salad Boot Camp. By now you should be feeling far more confident in your greens game. Even your laziest salads are gonna be SO.MUCH.BETTER. than they were before and we’re welling with pride.
Summer weather is coming, just in time for you to take advantage of all the great produce coming into season- so this week we’re talking all about non lettuce salads.
A lettuce or greens-based salad, better known as a Garden Salad, is what comes to mind when we hear the word “salad” but there are so many other kinds that also fall under the genus. There’s even a working theory that technically everything is a salad. BUT by now all the tips and tricks you’ve been picking up over the last couple weeks will help, so it’s good to know what the fuck else is out there to keep you being creative and avoiding dinner doldrums.
Bound Salads
These are salads with super thick dressings, usually mayo based, that you scoop and serve. Potato salads, some pasta salads, and coleslaws fall under this category. These picnic classics are served cold and can often double as a sandwich filling, like the Smoked Almond and Chickpea Salad in our first book. We don’t love mayo so we tend to make these with a ripe avocado or nut butter like tahini instead for the same effect. Our Spring Beet Down Pasta Salad is a great example. When you make one of these, don’t forget to add something crunchy like celery or some chopped raw onion. No one likes a mouth full of motherfucking mush.
Fruit Salads
Often made but rarely delicious, fruit salad success really depends on one thing and one thing only: the ripeness of the fruit. That bland-ass honeydew melon ain’t gonna cut it. If you want this as part of your spread ya gotta get the ripest, most delicious fruit you can find. Also, can we stop adding whole grapes to these? They never taste right and they’re awkward as shit to eat with a fork. If you decide to venture into these waters, remember to treat it like a real salad and not a bowl of fruit. You need to season it, give it a lil dressing, and maybe even some fresh herbs like mint. Check out our Boozy Watermelon and Papaya Salad in our second book, Party Grub, if you need some inspo.
Jello Salads
These are a universal abomination and should be burned from our collective memory. That’s all we’re gonna say on the matter. Get fucked.
Bean or Vegetable Centered Salads
These can be anything from a classic three bean salad to something as simple as Greek salad. Chunky cuts and a bright vinaigrette are the keys to success here. But if you’re using beans, know that the vinegar in the dressing will slowly break them down resulting in a mealy texture to the dish after 2-3 days. To avoid this, don’t stir them up too much and try to make it within 24 hours of serving it.
Pasta Salads
If you’ve read any of our books or spent more than six seconds on our site our love of pasta and noodles salads is obvious i. We can never get enough. These salads are endlessly customizable and always delicious. We love them as lunches to bring to work and are a perfect summer dinner when it’s too fucking hot to do more than just boil some water. One thing to keep in mind is that pasta is gonna absorb A LOT of the dressing. To avoid a dry as fuck dish, plan for this. You’ve got 2 options. Either overdress that shit from the start and stir it around every few hours as it chills in the fridge or do what we do and make some extra dressing. Toss this over the dish right before you serve it or while you’re packing up your lunch to ensure you get all the flavor you want and there’s nary a dry noodle to be found. We prefer this method because it removes the guesswork of how much your noodles are gonna absorb. There only thing worse than a dry pasta salad is one that’s basically soup because its swimming in fucking dressing. Gross. Here are some of our favs from the site that you should make this summer if you’ve never had the pleasure.
Sweet Corn Vinaigrette Pasta Salad
Snap Pea and Radish Rice Noodles with Peanut Pesto
In the spirit of spring, your recipe this week is a salad where green beans are the star. It’s refreshing, filling, and a great way to use all those green beans about to flood your market. It benefits from a couple hours in the fridge so that everything can get acquainted and the green beans and soak up some of the dressing. If you don’t like fennel or can find it at the store, sub in something else crunchy like cucumber, celery, or even jicama. Damn delicious.
Lemony Green Bean and Fennel Salad with Walnuts
Makes enough for 4 as a side
5 cups of chopped, bite-sized green beans
¼ cup rice vinegar
Juice from 1 lemon, about 2 tablespoons
1 minced garlic clove
½ teaspoon salt
¼ cup extra virgin olive oil
1 large shallot, chopped or ¼ of a red onion, chopped
1 cup chopped fennel
¼ cup finely minced parsley
¼ cup finely chopped chives
Salt and pepper
½ cup chopped toasted walnuts or almonds, optional
Bring a large pot of water to simmer with a little salt in it. In another large bowl, place some ice and cold water. Yeah, that’s right, we’re blanching those beans. Throw the green beans in the simmering water and set a timer for two minutes.
Once the two minutes are up, immediately drain the green beans then plunge them into the bowl with the ice water to stop them from cooking. This will leave the beans cooked, with a little crunch, and plenty of their vibrant green color. Once cooled completely, drain them again. Let them sit int the colander to keep drying off while you get everything else ready. Any water left on them will just dilute the tastiness of the dish so give them enough time to really drip dry.
While your beans dry, throw the rice vinegar, lemon juice, garlic, salt, olive oil, and shallots into a glass and mix that shit up. Grab a large bowl and mix the green beans and fennel together, then pour over the dressing. It might look like too much dressing, but that shit is gonna get absorbed by the green beans so chill. Now fold in the herbs. Looking pretty huh? Let this sit in the fridge for at least an hour and up to overnight. Before serving, toss in the walnuts and salt and pepper as needed. Serve cold.
We’re so appreciative of each and every one of you supporters here in our elite corner of The Broiler Room and we’re gonna be rolling out new membership benefits soon. Stay tuned and we’ll see y’all next week.
Michelle and Matt
why oh why is there no good way to save these excellent recipes, other than a clunky cut-and-paste?
This is a great fucking salad, you guys! Made this for dinner tonight and I’m betting it will be even better tomorrow.