World War Avo

Millennials can’t afford homes and now we won’t be able to afford avocado toast.

millennials can’t have shit

Hey beautiful supporters. Brunch is in trouble but don’t worry, we’ve got a solution. This week the US government stopped all avocado imports from Mexico indefinitely after an American plant inspector received death threats. Grocers and consumers were surprised by the announcement and then Chipotle freaked out. This is unwelcome news for everyone with taste buds, especially during the peak season for the fruit. 

Yes, fruit. Did you know avocados are technically berries? 

You might be thinking, we'll just rely on our domestic avocado supply until they sort all that out. Fine, except more than 80% of avocados purchased in America are imported from Mexico. So it’s a pretty big deal to just shut down that pipeline. California produces 90% of the avocados grown stateside and while they’re predicting a larger harvest it’s not nearly enough to fill that gap. In fact, California is responsible for nearly 70% of all U.S. fruit and vegetable production alone and is in the middle of the worst megadrought the region has experienced in 1,200 year. So maybe it isn’t safe to count on the Golden State when our shit is drying up fast and the rich can’t stop watering their yards. 

But this isn’t just about avocados. As the last couple years have shown, all our fates are tied together and our global economy is full of entangled alliances. Whether it’s food, water, or energy, the production and retention of domestic commodities has never been more important. Sure, this is just avocado dependence but considering we’ve lost access to limes, wine, and countless other imports in the last couple years, now is the time to start examining the global footprint of all of our diets.

Some are calling for consumer demand to shift away from avocados entirely, due to their environmental impact, deforestation, and complications with local cartels- ya know, like death threats. Mexico’s President Andrés Manuel López Obrador downplayed the violence, citing vague foreign political trade interests and conspiracies against Mexico. 

Let’s lay off the guac while the suits sort this mess out. And of course we’re not gonna leave you hanging, here’s a recipe you can try to replace your avo toast in the meantime.

Maple Rosemary Scones with Pecans

Makes about 8 scones-10 scones depending on how you slice

1 cup almond milk

1 tablespoon lemon juice

3 cups all purpose flour or whole wheat pastry flour

2 tablespoons baking powder

3 tablespoons cane or turbinado sugar

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ cup coconut oil or non hydrogenated shortening

2 tablespoons non dairy butter

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary

¾ cup chopped pecans or walnuts

Maple Drizzle:

1 tablespoon nondairy butter

1 sprig rosemary

¼ cup maple syrup 

⅓ cup powdered sugar

Warm the oven to 425 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper or foil.

In a small cup pour together the milk and lemon juice and let it sit. In a large bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt. Cut the coconut oil and non dairy butter into the flour using your hands or a fork until it all looks kind of grainy and there are no large chunks left. Just smash around for a while and you’ll be fine. Drizzle in the olive oil and mix it up so that it's not forming a glob in the flour somewhere. 

Make a well in the center of the flour and pour in the milk mixture and the chopped rosemary. Mix it together until it is almost all the way combined but stop short. You still gotta add the nuts. Fold in the pecans but be careful not to over mix. You don’t want dense scones. Shape the dough into a ball in the bowl using your hands and then move it to your cutting board.

Pat down the dough into a circle no more than 1 ½ inches high. Take a sharp knife and cut that fucker up into 8-10 slices like a pizza. Pull out each little slice and place them on your prepared baking sheet. Brush the outside with a little grape seed oil, olive oil, or almond milk, sprinkle a little extra sugar for looks and then stick that shit in the oven for 12-15 minutes or until the bottoms start to brown.

While the scones are cooking, you can make the glaze. In your smallest saucepan over a low heat, melt the butter then throw in the rosemary sprig and maple syrup. Bring this up to a simmer, stir, then turn off the heat. We just wanna infuse that syrup with all that rosemary flavor so let this sit for however long you’ve got. When you’re ready to glaze, pull out the rosemary sprig and whisk in the powdered sugar until it's all incorporated and not chunks remain.

When the scones are done, let them cool for about 10-15 minutes before glazing. If you do it while they’re still hot, the scones will just absorb the glaze and it won’t look like you did shit. Drizzle over the glaze with a whisk or a fork so you’ve got little lines of glaze all over.

Now go enjoy that shit.

---

Thanks for joining us here in The Broiler Room. Your support is what keeps the lights on around here and we’re so fucking grateful. 

Michelle and Matt