Salsa Lessons: Avocado Desperado

how to stretch an avocado and it won’t cost extra

Welcome to week 3 of Salsa Lessons. 

The star of this week’s show is the avocado. We know that mf always costs extra, especially right now, so we came up with this salsa as a way to stretch your avocadollars. It’s not a crypto coin but maybe it should be? Instead of selling one of your kidneys to make a big ass bowl of guacamole for your family to put on burritos or tacos, make our Avocado and Green Onion Salsa and stretch the salsa satisfaction without the guac prices. It’s tangy, easy to make, versatile, and keeps its bright green color for a couple days so leftovers stay in play. And best of all? It only takes ONE damn avocado to make 2 ½ cups. We love it drizzled over bowls of rice and beans, poured into a burrito with grilled veggies, as dressing for a taco salad, and even just as a dip. You can’t go wrong. We swear.

But while we’re talking avocados, let’s talk storage. We know you guys never wanna waste a bit of avocado but please ignore that TikTok hack where you store ripe avocados in water to keep them going brown. Sure they won’t brown BUT the FDA warns you’re basically creating a salmonella soup, so let’s avoid dying in embarrassing ways mkay? Just stick with storing cut avocado in a small, airtight(ish) container with citrus juice like lime or a little citric acid mixed with water brushed over the cut side. That should keep your avocado looking fresh for at least 24-36 hours. Also, why the fuck are you letting half an avocado go bad? Grow up. 

Avocado and Green Onion Salsa

Makes about 2 ½ cups

1 ripe avocado, skin and pit removed

1 cup chopped green onions, white and green parts

1 jalapeño, chopped

1 cup water or veggie broth

1 shallot, chopped or ¼ cup white onion

Juice from 2 limes

2 tablespoons white vinegar

½ teaspoon  salt

Throw everything in a blender and run that shit until the salsa is nice and smooth. Taste and add more of whatever you think it needs. If you’ve got a particular big avocado you might want to up the lime juice, salt, etc to get the flavor where you want it. Store it in a jar with an airtight lid and it will keep in the fridge for about 4 days.

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Thanks for joining us here in The Broiler Room. Hope y’all are keepin cool and you’re hydrated and gettin plenty of sleep we love you fuckers okay byeeeee.

Michelle and Matt