The Words and The Bees

people are dealing with a lot, let them curse

artwork by Nick Hensley

Since our first cookbook release we get weekly, if not daily, asks from readers hoping we’d release a ‘kid-friendly’ or ‘clean’ version of our books. We’ve never fully understood what that would look like since salty language is kinda our schtick.  We’ve also caught our share of hate mail about the profanity we use in our food writing. Grown-ass adults clutching their pearls to dust as if everything we created was to upset them specifically. Our favorite is “what if a child sees this?”. We like to imagine a kid accidentally cooking themself a snack after snickering over our forbidden text. ¡QUÉ HORROR!

Parents, we can assure you that your children didn't learn the word fuck from reading our recipes. Also, is swearing really some huge character flaw? Studies prove that people who regularly use profanity have a larger vocabulary than those who don’t. So if swearing makes you tetchy, don’t tell others to expand their vocabulary. That’s on you. Not all swears are invectives and most invectives aren’t swears, so let’s stop language policing. Plus, other studies have shown that people who swear a lot are not only more honest in their daily interactions but also have more integrity at the societal level. Screaming fudge when your mean fuck is kind of a smoke screen, no? Sounds like a lil more swearing could make all of us a lil happier, kids included.

Kids experience all kinds of outside stressors just like adults, so expanding their vocabulary with contextual understanding isn’t a bad thing. Swearing has also been found to increase strength and help alleviate pain. When you burn your forearm for the 700th time on a hot oven rack and scream “FUCKKKKK” not only are you being honest but you’re practicing self-care to alleviate your pain- even if it's just a little bit. Kid or adult, we all need something to take the edge off of reality. This is the inclusive wellness movement we’ve all been waiting for: eat more vegetables and swear whenever the fuck you feel like it. All ages, incomes, and backgrounds welcome. At a time when all of us are burned out, exhausted, and stressed past the point of sanity, we should be swearing more. 

All these years later, we’re still surprised by how much push back our recipes get because of the swearing. It makes paying to promote our work on social media all but impossible, and we have to obscure the swear words on our book covers otherwise no one will stock us. Our book covers get run by reps at all the major booksellers for approval before our publisher will even sign off. You’d think we were publishing state secrets with all the fucking red tape we have to deal with, instead of affordable, delicious plant-based recipes with a pinch of humor. The dictionary publishes swear words too goddamnit. Can’t we just trust people to not buy the things they don’t wanna see? So much for a free market. 

Proof vs final publish - everytime we write a book the cover has to be approved by retailers like Target, so much to the point we’re obscuring swear words incrementally with food and a hundred emails later someone says “perfect”. Seems like a collective waste of everyone’s time.

There’s lots of things we as a society need protection from- but it’s not swear words, the LGBTQ+ community, or books . Kids today are growing up with the internet- a bastion of the best and worst humanity has to offer- at their fingertips. Hell, when we were kids? The internet was a landscape of creepy chat rooms, pirated media, shock gore sites, and bum fights. We’re the generation of goatse, 2 girls 1 cup, and lemon party. If you’re unfamiliar with any of those, DO NOT google them, or fuck it punch your ticket and enjoy the ride. Point being, we are the generation responsible for the NSFW tag so let’s ease up on the prose policing. There’s worse things to see out there.

Right now all of us have access to more knowledge and centuries of human learning than anyone ever has. EVER. That toothpaste ain’t going back in the tube, folks. All these faux culture wars do is add to our diet of bread and circuses and keep us distracted from the pain these dumbshit campaigns and laws do. Instead, we could be focusing on how to make life better for each and everyone of us. If we can relearn how to focus, that is. So let’s all just fucking relax, read a banned book, cook something, and swear as much as we goddamn please. And maybe, if you don’t like how things are going, run for a local office.

this is required cooking

You can get started on your new chill outlook this week with our Garlic Sriracha Noodles with Broccolini. This forever fan fav will have you swearing with goddamn delight after each bite. Trust us. We swear. >=)

Thanks for being part of The Broiler Room. Tomorrow TBR’s paid supporters will get part 3 of Salad Boot Camp with a DIY dressing tutorial and accompanying recipes that you won’t wanna miss. If you’re not signed up yet, there’s an easy way to fix that. 

Matt and Michelle